Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The End of Mr. Whip and I / Meet the Boys

In the last few months life has changed drastically I do feel I owe it to my YouTube Subscribers to update them on my life. Some of you that I am super close with have known about the changes as they have happened others I kept under a rock till I was ready to talk. 

In the past several months me and Mr. Whip have had our fair share of problems and I chose to terminate my nearly 9yr long relationship with him. That's not to say I didn't love him we just grew drastically apart in the last year to year and a half. I'm a firm believer in stand by your man but there comes a point when the emotional abuse isn't worth it anymore. 

I felt like Mr. Whip and I had a misery loves company kind of relationship we met on VERY BAD terms some of you know from digging up dirt of my past and I think our attraction to each other was we both wanted something we couldn't have and by couldn't have it takes no rocket scientist to figure out that I was 16 when I met Mr. Whip and even have said in videos how old I was when I met him and he was nearly 21yrs my senior. 

What we went through in our past when we met was just a fraction of our very turbulent / non traditional relationship I still want to keep a lot of the details private as to what sort of relationship I had and what I went through as I don't want to paint anyone to be the bad person in the relationship the nearly 9yrs I had with Mr. Whip were without regret but there comes a time to move on. Ive known for sometime I've wanted more and I wanted someone who appreciated me but I was terrified to move on I was afraid that I was just throwing away the time I had with Mr. Whip so I could dapple around in dating to hopefully find someone so I settled for a good while before terminating things. 

I will say the most recent breaking points in my relationship with Mr. Whip was the weight loss and the boudoir shoot. Mr, Whip was terrified that by losing this weight and doing the boudoir shoot I was becoming someone I wasn't and that I was going to leave. I had no intentions around that period of leaving unless he pushed me away and he ultimately did. He had no interests in me bettering my self so I could be healthier for our daughter, He had no interest in my feelings / emotions, He didn't understand my reasoning for the boudoir shoot I didn't do the shoot for bragging rights I did it for the life experience for empowerment and he hated that. 

Those tended to be the issues he had with me as well as I had issues with him the last thing I'm going to do is air his dirty laundry and disrespect him in a blog post but I will say he had his fair share of skeletons in the closet. We tried working through his problems in many he did some stuff on his own in  an attempt to better things as well as we tried to talk about the issues and it became the point that the issues couldn't be confronted unless it was out anger or it would be lied about and one lie would turn into another and even though I'm 20.5yrs younger than Mr. Whip I wasn't born yesterday to not know the truth I am far from naive like I was in my younger years. 

Enough about Mr, Whip and onto the new boys. 

So I posted a photo this past Wednesday letting my big news out of the bag and that was that I have been dating someone new for a little over a month. His name is Mark hes 30 so only 5yrs older than me and he treats me like I am his queen I have never felt so desired and wanted in my life. Things are moving fast I won't hide that but everything feels right we are pretty much living together already he stays with me 6 out of 7 days a week the 7th day is generally to go back to his parents house and help them since they are older. 

I have met his parents already which was big and scary for me I will say when I first met his dad he intimidated me his dad has one of those tough love relationships towards the boys so I didn't know how he would feel about me. We don't talk a lot but we are getting familiar with each other though. Now mom is another story his mother is great she is everything that I would want in a possible mother in law she is so caring and giving and personable and we share a lot of interests like sewing and shopping. They have met Hallie and his mom tends to have what I would say is already that Grandmother / Grand Daughter bond with Hallie. She showers Hallie with attention and gifts and loves to take pictures of her.

I finally feel happy in life and feel as if I couldn't ask for more. Mark and I have began looking at houses as we want something that is ours together. We looked at our first home the other day and it wasn't "The One" but we are still on the mission of home ownership. We spoke with a loan officer yesterday and are waiting on pre-approval on a home loan. We were sent a few listings to check out from a realtor Yesterday and today I went through home listings looking at homes in other areas as were not quite sure what area we want to live in but do know what budget we want to be within. We want a modest home nothing huge and fancy but something with enough space I have to have my vanity room if rooms are small in the house lol! So were looking at 3-4 bedroom houses within the current city I reside in or in a surrounding city. We have also been talking about other things. I want to get married and Mark is divorced so its been a topic of conversation as I didn't want to pursue a relationship if I knew that wouldn't be a possibility in the future and despite him being about 3 months out of his divorce he does want to get married in the future. Even though things are moving fast we have put a time frame on marriage I told him I would like to be engaged by my 26th birthday and married by my 27th we've talked about everything from rings (I told him I want nothing less than a carat I know I'm a brat LOL) to venues.

So that's a lot of info to take in and should of brought my subscribers up to speed.

but I have one more surprise!

Yet another instagram photo introduction here is another new man in my life this is Gauge my 6.5wk old Black Lab puppy.

I wasn't expecting to get another puppy but FREE Purebred Puppies no one can pass up! A farmer down the road from my brother had a litter of purebred puppies 3 of the puppies came out with bolo markings that he was giving away free since they couldn't be AKC registered and they were coming close to being due for their 2nd set of shots he didn't want to dump anymore money into them so my brother and I took 2 of the 3 puppies my brother took a sister and I took the brother and my goodness my little man is spoiled the photo above was from his first trip to Petsmart for toys and I do say first because despite only having him 3 days he got to go toy shopping yet again today since were working on chewing habits whats his and whats not he had to have a variety of stuff for himself to avoid mine and Hallies stuff. Hes been pretty well sleeping good at night not having to many accidents he is afraid of being outside alone he likes us being outside when he goes potty so we have to work on him getting use to going out alone or with the other dogs but hes a good little guy! 

1 comment:

  1. im so happy for you! sometimes it is better to realize when something isnt working nomatter how hard it may be. I hope that you and mr.whip can still be civil and friends for the sake of your daughter.
    ---Alivia Hite